Can you feel?| VERSION ONE | ____

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Barang2 kat rumah ni kan, mcm tau jer time nak gaji mesti satu-satu buat hal. Last Sunday, I woke up from afternoon nap to make milk for Khairi. Bila gi dapur, I noticed that under my electric thermo s flask got some water. Took a dry towel and tried to lift it up lah kan. Dengan tak semena-mena, the handle and the inside cover semuanya terburai. Apa lagi, I pon cepat2 off the switch lah kalau tak, ger enti dah kena electric shock seh. Let it cool for a while cos the water inside the thermos still hot u know..hehehee. After letting it cool, throw away the water and throw away the whole thermos. Kira dah puas gunakan benda ni. I tink since Khairi 18mths. Asal nak gaji jer mesti ada benda nak kena beli...haiz

Side view

front view

love me at 2:12 PM
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Had a mini celebration at home juz me and Khairi as hb had to work. Bought a

PowerRangers cake at CompassPoint Polar. Yes, you heard it rite. It's PowerRan gers. Khairi insisted that I buy PowerRangers for him. In other reason, I intend to know how the cake taste like as Khairi wanted a PowerRanger cake for his bdae celebration in school next Thursday. Well...it's a thumbs down from Khairi. He said "Not nice lah mam a" Hahahaha..ok here's the pics..enjoys

love me at 10:43 AM
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Monday, August 20, 2007

Last nite both Khairi and I slept late as both of us woke up late during our afternoon nap. After finishing ironing hb's uniform, brought Khairi to the bedroom. Then Khairi insist of calling his papa. So I called him using my hp, both of us got scolding cos it's already 12.10 am and we're still awake. Hehehee...Khairi asked his papa when is he coming home and hb told him soon. Den half and hour later, hb tercegat kat pintu bedroom. Both of us are excited to see him. Den I noticed hb put his right hand behind his back and I asked "wat r u hiding behind ur back papa?" He smiled and put out his hand and "taadddaaahh"..my bdae present. I was super happy lah. Si kepo kecik ni sibok ask me to unwrap the present. I pon open lah. Hepi with my bdae gift. But kan yg disappointed is si gendut lah cos when I unwrapped the present, it's not what he wants. Kalau u all nak tau, sesiapa saja punya bdae, he will says his bdae and thats the reason why he's dissappointed with the present..Hahaha..Sampai melalak ni anak tgh malam2 buta ni. Nak tak nak, terpaksa I say that this present is for him not for me

. Sampai nak tdo pon, he hold my bdae present bawah his ketiak. I'm super happy rite now cos hb neva gives bdae present before, usually juz having dinner together only.U all mesti nak tau, wat hb give me rite? Well, have to wait for 2morrow cos tak sempat nak take pic.Kwang kwang kwang....

love me at 12:19 PM
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Monday, August 06, 2007

Yesterday was suppose to be a happy occasion for my darling hb but his mom spoilt everything that I've planned for him. He purposely took medical leave to celebrate his birthday with all of us but his mom SPOILT the day. Yesterday agenda was 1st to go to my hb's colleague's dotter's wedding, den had lunch with his family at Chai Chee Seafood Restaurant den spend time with me and Khairi and lastly went to my mom's place for dinner. But his mom SPOILT everything, I'm repeating this again, SPOILT the whole ocassion. His mom WILL NEVA make up her mind when making appointments. At 10 am, she call my hb saying that we'll meet after zohor. Den at 11 am, she called again saying to meet at 5pm saying that the cupboard she ordered will be coming at 3pm. At this time I was bathing with Khairi, getting ready to go out but when Hb told me that his mom changed the lunch timing, i was already fuming mad. Hb said his mom forget that the cupboard she ordered will be coming today (yesterday). Padahal I've informed her 2 weeks in advance regarding this lunching thing tau. Why can't she postpone it on any other day? Why must be on my Hb's big day? I told him that I dnt care, I've planned everything if not we dnt go lunch with them at all. Hearing my response, he called his mom and she too wont budged and my FIL start to make kecoh too. When I was dressing Khairi, my tears start to flows uncontrollably. Hati ni terlalu terluka sangat with their behaviour. Dorang tak pernah pon nak celebrate my Hb's bdae before but why now?! Just bcos my Bil's wedding anniversary falls on the same day?! Selama nak masuk 4 tahun I kahwin ngan Hb, dorang tak pernah ambil peduli pon pasal my hb's bdae. Only my family yg celebrate with him all these years and my mom will specially cook special dishes for my hb. Nampak sah pilih kasih kan! Seeing me crying, hb said that we're not goin any where, tak payah nak celebrate his bdae. Tu yg buat I makin sedih and frustrated. Den Hb said something yg hurts my feelings so much that I throw things at him when he leave the room. Habis tabung Khairi, my perfume and other things berkecai kena tembok. Dah mcm org gila I dibuatnya. Why cant he understand how I feel each time his mom spoilt our day that we have already planned? I can mengalah any other day but why must be on my hb's bdae?! Dahlah Khairi and I susah nak spend time with him due to his work commitments but now this has to happen. Kalau bole I tak nak make him sedih2 especially on his bdae but I juz cant take it anymore. Seeing how sad I am and crying unstoppable, hb came and console me. Den Khairi came and hug me. After much persuassion, I stop crying.

Dengan muka sembab for crying (with make-up lagi), we head to my hb's colleague's dotter's wedding at Toa Payoh. My mood at this time is "dnt disturb me pls and sad" mode cos masih sebak wat happen earlier on. After the wedding, I noticed that hb was driving to his mom's place but at the carpark he stopped and make a call to his sister asking her to fetch his mom instead. He den drive out of the carpark and head to Orchard Rd. He said we go jalan2 1st since there's a lot of time since we'll be meeting his family at 5pm. Khairi was the happiest person cos he got to spend time with his papa. We went to Takashimaya and den suddenly Khairi saw this Toys Fair at the centre forum between Takashimaya and Wisma Atria. But hb and I decided to go to the toilet 1st. While I was washing my hands, my mom called me. She told me no need to come over as she wants me to spend time with hb. She will cook on hb's off day that is on Tuesday. Why cant my MIL be understanding as my mom?! When I leave the toilet, I saw hb was talking on the phone and my instinct is that person must be my MIL. Guess wat? True enough it was her! She said she'll be late, come at 6pm. Hearing that, I told hb "asal tak genapkan sampai subuh skali kan senang." We den head down to the Toys Fair at 1st level. Bought for Khairi Star Riser dinosaur which cost $10 only. Usual price is at $29.90. Ask hb wat he wants for his bdae, he said he dnt want anything, he juz wanna spend time with me and Khairi. We den sit for awhile at the fountain before we start to make a move around 5.30pm.

While in the car, I dah takde mood lagi. No heart to meet his family. When we reached there, my Mil and my SIL's family were already there. After salam, I sit at the end side of the table, far away from them. Not long after, Rizal (Bil) and wifey and my FIL came. When ordering food and drinks, I didnt say anything. Hb den use his hp to smsed me. Hb:"Y?takmolah buat mcm gini."
Me: "I dnt wanna eat anything, u go ahead and enjoy ur meals".
Hb: "K.takpe"
Me: "I mengalah cos u wanna to celebrate with ur family BUT I'll neva forget how ur mom spoilt everything for me. Give me the car keys, I nak duduk dlm kreta"
Hb: "Hari ni hari papa but mama buat gini pada papa"

At this time, hati ni dah mula sebak. Bukannya I sengaja nak sakitkan hati my hb but hati I lagi terluka ngan perbuatan my MIL. All along during the makan thing, I didnt even said a word even though dipelawa oleh my MIL. I TOTALLY ignore everyone. U might think I kurang ajar but hanya Allah saja yg tau perasaan I masa tu. They even happily talk how nice is my MIL's cupboard which even makes me more frustrated. After the makan thing and everyone was salamming, after I salam my SIL, I walked to my car without even salam my in-laws. If my mom see this, I surely get one tight slap from her but I juz dnt care. My feelings are just too hurt to see even a minute of them. In the car, both hb and I had a heated argument until I splashed a cup of banana juice at him that we bought earlier on at Takashimaya. Upon reaching home, I packed my clothes. When he came into our house, I told him I'm goin to my mom's place with Khairi. He said go ahead! Sebelom kluar rumah, I asked for his permission. At 1st, he said to tell my mom that he's sorry that he can't take care of me anymore but when he saw that I'm packing Khairi's clothes, he knows that I'm not kidding. When I was about to leave with Khairi, he said "Kalau mama tak sayang papa lagi, u can go ahead and pass that door." At this point, I broke down and stood down. How could he said that I dnt loves him. Hanya Allah saja yg tahu how much I loves him. Takde org yg sayang mama mcm mana papa sayang mama.Alamak dah start mengalir airmata ni now...While I was crying at the door, Khairi too start to cry. Poor my baby for feeling stress for the whole day about the commotion between me and hb. Hb told me to understand his situation. He is caught between me and his mom. I know that dia masih ada tanggungjawab to his parents but I only asked him to spend time with us just this special day; his special day to be precise. I told him everytime I already makes plan for a particular day, weeks or even months in advance, ur mom will surely crashed my plans within hours. You even told my family kalau ada apa2 occasion to attend, tell him 1 month in advance. Why dnt you tell ur mom or family the same thing?! Kenapa my family and I kena mengalah setiap permintaan/kelakuan keluarga u? Are u being fair to me? U want me to understand your feelings but how about mine or even worse Khairi's feelings? We looked forward every of your Off days, just to spend time with you. I even wont let Khairi go to school so that both father and son can spend time together but sometimes you choose to "park" Khairi at ur mom's place to wander around. Do you know that when Khairi and I are at home, he will not forget to mention ur name each time he told stories?Pa, I'm sorry that ur big day become a bad day for you but this wont be happening if ur family didnt disturb our marriage life. I will always love you and I hope you know that. I wont be a hyprocrite like how ur Bil (Abg Mail) do. I tak nak memendam perasaan ni terlalu lama yg mungkin akan memakan diri I. I'm doing this to save our marriage as only the 2 of us can save our marriage. Susah atau senang, hanya kita berdua yg tanggung, bukan ur family or mine. I'm really sorry papa....

love me at 11:34 AM
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